If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Green mimosas i think yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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