Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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