can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
