I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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