those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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