i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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