vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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