Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
