Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
We are two peas in an std pod
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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