He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
