After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
