We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
