Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize