You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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