Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
