you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
