I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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