I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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