she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
