"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
