Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
We left the knife in your bed.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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