At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
