Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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