You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
