You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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