I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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