I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
