if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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