all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
