WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
