you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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