I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
