goodnight i made you a song goodbye
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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