Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize