Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
either way he was missing a nipple.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
