why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
i dont even know how to be here
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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