I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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