M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
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