have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
