this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
