Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
