this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
