Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
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I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
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Oh Jesus.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
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One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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