we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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