Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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