I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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