so let's talk penis.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Randomize
