we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
