Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
