its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My feet surprised me
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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