I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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