dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Also, beer. Big fan.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
