Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
