"it" just moved
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
