oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.