And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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