my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days