im about as happy as oj after his trial
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
