apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Randomize
