Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize