I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I could fuck to npr.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
