Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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