the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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