does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!