i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
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YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.