I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2