i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.