yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.