dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.