Texts From Last Night

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  (949): View more from California

  Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone

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  (949): Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone http://tfl.nu/p93a
  Replies (11) Good night (2604) Bad night (579)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.

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  (631): I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song. http://tfl.nu/vyfy
  Replies (17) Good night (809) Bad night (4850)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'

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  (334): after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in' http://tfl.nu/hpim
  Replies (13) Good night (1092) Bad night (4680)
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  (805): View more from California

  I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends

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  (805): I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends http://tfl.nu/9344
  Replies (35) Good night (1527) Bad night (4652)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...

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  (718): you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water... http://tfl.nu/djs2
  Replies (43) Good night (1470) Bad night (6533)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"

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  (214): I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?" http://tfl.nu/quj5
  Replies (15) Good night (7300) Bad night (894)
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.

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  (586): You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you. http://tfl.nu/lwwd
  Replies (6) Good night (4102) Bad night (1057)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.

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  (785): Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks. http://tfl.nu/e26o
  Replies (8) Good night (503) Bad night (1114)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.

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  (570): Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window. http://tfl.nu/lqfg
  Replies (10) Good night (391) Bad night (1295)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.

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  (615): I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample. http://tfl.nu/ndxy
  Replies (4) Good night (829) Bad night (531)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  Woke up in time for my 8:15

  (518): View more from New York

  Good for you I'm impressed

  (561): View more from Florida

  I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester

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  (561): Woke up in time for my 8:15 (518): Good for you I'm impressed (561): I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester http://tfl.nu/b7yv
  Replies (2) Good night (1015) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Who is our new insurance provider?

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  (978): FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning. (978): Who is our new insurance provider? http://tfl.nu/a2lj
  Replies (3) Good night (782) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.

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  (250): Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear. http://tfl.nu/ufbe
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.

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  (781): Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios. http://tfl.nu/bgm6
  Replies (1) Good night (389) Bad night (208)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.

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  (479): I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap. http://tfl.nu/23la
  Replies (4) Good night (527) Bad night (396)

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