This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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