Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
