Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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