i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
