i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
