Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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