She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
