So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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